We all know them, the conversations that leave us feeling deflated, confused, gross, maybe even downright pissed. The ones where people impart their opinions without even being asked and {sometimes} don’t even know they’re doing it. I call these an “opinion attack”, where we may feel like we’re helping or inquiring but in all reality we’re just spewing our opinion without stopping to think how it might make the other person feel.

As we are now into the new year and the goals/ intentions have been set I wanted to help people bounce back from any negative opinions that get thrown their way. We know the month of February {or the month of quitting those new years resolutions} is fast approaching and I want to make sure you all are armed with the knowledge to fight back when confronted with any opinions that could potentially derail you from your healthy lifestyle journey!

I’m here to tell you we all have these opinion encounters, and the feelings are 100% normal but how we move forward is the most important part.

Blissfully Lively Opinions Attack Tips

Whether you have been the opinion attacker, or are the one being attacked {we’ve all been one at one point, and might not even have noticed it until now} these type of conversations can be super hard to overcome. The attacker might after the fact realize what they have done and feel terrible, not knowing where to go from there and the attacked could allow these words to truly affect their progress, goals, lifestyle choices, whatever it might be.

I’m going to be 100% honest with you guys, I have most definitely been both of these and a good majority of the time not even on purpose. Say something super exciting happens to one of your friends, lets take a new job for example you’re so thrilled for them and start chatting about all the possibilities of who they will work with, when they start, their commute, etc. and you land on the topic of their commute, your friend begins chatting about how her/his commute is going to be 2 hours both way, you jump in saying “oh my gosh, that’s a super long commute, how are you going to make dinner, relax after work, etc.?” “are you sure you want to take this job?”.

So you have gone from being completely excited to kind of bashing this persons new life choice without even realizing, because you probably were just concerned but it came off a bit opinionated and rude and now your friend is feeling down about her choice in taking the job and might be second guessing.

Do we see how this naturally happens and we might not even realize?

Ok, so now what?

How to Bounce Back From an “Opinion Attack”

BL Opinion Attack Tips

 

Lets start with the attacker, in the event that you realize what you said may have hurt this friend the best thing I think is to be honest. Honesty is so hard to come to terms with and admit to the other person but I have realized is the most effective. I think immediately {or once you realize you might have hurt them} addressing the issue is the best way to go about it. It refrains from having the friend stew on those words and become more upset, and allows you to get your guilt off your chest.

If you are the one that has been victim to an “opinion attack” after having this conversation it can feel a bit daunting! Now you may begin to question yourself or your goals etc. My best advice {that I try to listen to as often as possible, it’s always so hard to listen to your own advice} is to remind yourself of your why. Why you started, took the job, started a relationship with so and so, whatever you have been attacked about. Remind yourself of all the reasons why you did what you did, basically this allows you to take a step back and remind yourself of the positives in this situation.

The next step I think works best is to think about the situation as if it were happening to someone else {this can be the hardest of all these tips}. Does this friend have any validity in what they are saying? Are you feeling upset because you’re defensive and what they’re saying has some stock, or are they jumping to conclusions and leaving you with their unwanted opinion?

The last step I find to be the most difficult is to come to terms with the fact that that might be their opinion, but it doesn’t have to be yours. If this friend doesn’t realize they hurt you, or even worse genuinely believes what they said to be true, you have to be strong enough in your decision that no matter their opinion you are happy with yourself. Happy with the choice you made, the life you live, the weight you’ve lost/ gained whatever it may be. You have to remember that no matter what anyone else things you are the only person who fully understands your wants and desires and the happiness that sticking with them will bring you!

Dealing with confrontation is no ones favorite but I hope these few tips helped you handle any situation thrown at you a little better and allow you to be a bit more mindful before speaking.

Lets start a convo below! Let me in on any times you have felt “opinion attacked” and how you overcame it!

#liveblissfully.

xo,

Lauren

Feeling like you need a little mindfulness in your life? Check out the Wellness Spotlight post on ways to be more mindful in 2017.