In the BL Virtual Book Club on FB we have been talking about “our mean girl” the little voice inside our head that makes us question and look down upon ourselves every move we make. Do these sound familiar?

I’m so fat
My hair looks so gross
UGH i wish I could just get rid of this extra skin
Omg i’m so stupid
I Can’t do that, i’m not XYZ enough
*Insert looking in the mirror & pinching any skin on your body*

I’m sure most if not all we have said to ourselves in a moment of weakness, hard day, normal day even. We see it in the tabloids “get a flatter stomach with this one ab move”, the perfectly curated Instagrams of the girls sucking in, holding their breath or manipulating their body via a waist trainer. Or from someone as close to you as your mother, pulling at her wrinkles in the mirror saying “UGH i’m starting to look old, botox is your best friend girls”.

We have been flooded with hating out bodies, thinking we’re not good enough & treating ourselves poorly since we entered the world…LITERALLY

We say these things without even thinking. When we’re feeling low or defeated we resort to name calling ourselves because it’s what we’ve been taught, but i’m here to UNTEACH that philosophy.

I’m also here to tell you, it isn’t just you. I’m what some would consider “skinny”, “could eat for the rest of my life and never get fat”, “NEED A HAMBURGER” “have the perfect body” etc. {No i’m not saying these things to brag, i’m saying them to allow others to understand the severity of this} AND I as well resort to name calling and pinching in the mirror when i’m feeling low.

Why do we do this? BECAUSE IT”S EASY.

It’s easier to put yourself down than deal with what’s going on in your mind to lift yourself up. It’s easier to call yourself names and sit on the couch with some PB cups after a hard day than run yourself a bath, sit there, cry a little and deal with the emotions that are coming up.

So now that we’ve got it all out there…WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO?

WHAT WOULD YOU say to 5 year old you?

blissfully Lively 5 year old you

That’s the question I want you to think about every single time you resort to picking yourself apart…

Would you call that innocent little girl fat, would you pinch at her skin and tell her she needs to lose some LBS because she’s ugly, hideous etc.

I SURE AS HELL HOPE YOU WOULD NOT.

These things we do have become out norm…we say them without even thinking and the best way to stop those old habits dead in their tracks is assign them a buddy. A little something you do or say every single time those bad habits creep in.

This buddy is a question or mantra,

Would I say this to 5 year old me?

Blissfully Lively 5 year old you

Whenever we’re breaking habits it’s the hardest thing to commit and stick to because we want to revert back to our old ways. When we stop smoking, drinking, eating poorly etc. our little mean girl pops in and says “well I could just have one”…NOPE.

We can’t just have one, we can’t just say one mean thing to ourselves because it allows us permission to keep doing it…even worse,

IT ALLOWS OTHERS PERMISSION TO KEEP ON DOING IT.

Draw that line in the sand. For all the moms out there, who do you want your children to grow up to be? What habits do you want them to take with them through life. If we aren’t our best selves currently what habits can we adopt to show them we’re trying. We all have a starting place, we all have somewhere we come from, a back story, a sob story but how we move through that with grace and teaching lessons is what others will learn.

My most favorite thing when working with clients is asking them what is you why?

Why did you reach out to me…a good majority of them say, ‘ to get healthier’, ‘to learn how to eat cleaner’ ‘to lose weight’ ‘for my clothes to fit better’ etc. in the beginning but what really drops my jaw to the floor and makes me continue doing this client after client is half way through they realize it isn’t because they want to go down a jeans size, they want to eat healthier or they want to lose weight, yes those are all reasons, but after thoughts. The real reason is because they want to love themselves, become a better example for their children or best of all, find out who they are.

So now I leave you with this question…

Would you say that to 5 year old you???

xo,

Lauren